Welcome to the world of totally cheap tabletop wargaming! Why spend buckets of cash on a superior, worthwhile product when you can download this crappy cheap ass parody of Warhammer 40K? Now you too can roll fistfulls of dice to see who split whos testicles open on the bloody field of battle, otherwise known as the kitchen table. Now, you too can have no life and be the sort of nerd who even furries snicker at: a grognard, a wargamer. This and more is all yours for cheap as free with TOYMALLET 40 Cents!

Toymallet has recently been revised and updated, just this year (2006) and we are happy to release this brand new, utterly reinvented version of the game so that the earlier version becomes pathetically devoid of value. Of course we insist that you only play the new version, 3.14159, but we will still keep the old version available for the benefit of compulsive collectors and antiquarians.


Enter the world of endless battle between toys that just cannot get along, with the wonderful brand new edition of the tabletop wargame that made the world go 'Whaaaaaa????'

This new version has much to recommend it: completely reinvented game mechanics, full illustrations and diagrams throughout, more humor and parody, and photographs of our completely unavailable and nonexistant miniatures line. This is the Toymallet to get!

Click on the cover of the book to read the online version.

Or download the PDF to print out at home:

Kamishibai Download Entire Book as a PDF file      6.12 MB Zipped PDF







If you absolutely have to, here is the OLD version. It is over-complicated, lacking in illustrations, and Not As Cool. But...the game mechanic is better parody of the original source material. I'll give it that. The new version tries to hard to be its own game, and actually be playable.

Anyway, you can click on the cover to read it online.

At the end of it is a PDF download, too. Yay.


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